i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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