Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
