when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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