Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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