dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I looked at my own cervix.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
