Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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