It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Randomize
