He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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