new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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