i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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