Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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