she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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