I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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