You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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