Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
