They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
