This girl is more easily done than said...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
