Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
