i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
