The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize