I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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