ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
