Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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