just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
