if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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