it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
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