his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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