thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
