could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
