About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
