My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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