Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize