The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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