babies were throwing up all over the place
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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