Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
