Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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