Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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