ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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