end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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