ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Randomize
