Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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