is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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