yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
