I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
