I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
