Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
