that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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