you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
