i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
