Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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