i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
