This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
