Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
