I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize