Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
