i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
