i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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