You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize