after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
