She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
