You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
